


Grace in Your Heart and Flowers in Your Hair

by Thebigbadwolfandlittlered



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, M/M, No one is a superhero, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve doesn't have a leg, his right one actually, prosthetic leg, there will be flashbacks at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-02-17 08:36:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2303459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebigbadwolfandlittlered/pseuds/Thebigbadwolfandlittlered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It had been two years, four months, and 18 days since he had last walked with two legs.<br/>And even though it had been two years, he would still wake up with phantom pain.<br/>Steve clenched his jaw as he balled his hand into a fist to stop it from reaching down to 'touch' his leg.<br/>He had most of his right thigh, but his leg cut off about 5 inches above his knee, or well, where it used to be."</p><p>Steve loses a leg in the war and gets invited to a fundraiser hosted by Stark Industries.<br/>Tony might yell at Steve; a war veteran.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I have been up 5 hours writing this and I read through it and kinda beta'd it but it's probably full of mistakes but boy is it time for bed.
> 
> Heads up, future chapters (If I actually get around to writing them take note of this) will totally have sexy times and also sad times with panic attacks oh no
> 
> Steve has PTSD and Sam in paralyzed from the waist down but he has a dog so that's chill.
> 
> Title from After the Storm by Mumford&Sons

It had been two years.

Two years, four months, and 18 days.

Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath, in and out, and tried to focus on anything but the pain.

It had been two years since he was in war.

It had been two years, four months, and 18 days since he had last walked with two legs.

And even though it had been two years, he would still wake up with phantom pain.

Steve clenched his jaw as he balled his hand into a fist to stop it from reaching down to 'touch' his leg.

He had most of his right thigh, but his leg cut off about 5 inches above his knee, at least, where it used to be.

He didn't wake up in pain every night, but he did at least three or four times a week. He had talked to a doctor about it, but they said it just took time for the body to get used to missing most of a limb and that he should start seeing a therapist to help the processes along. He went to see Dr. Davin exactly three times before he decided that therapy just was not for him. The only thing Dr. Davin told him was that he had PTSD and Steve had figured that one out on his own. The doctor also hinted that the only thing holding Steve's recovery back was Steve's mind and he didn't take too kindly to that, no matter how true it was. So Steve didn't go back to Dr. Davin and instead took to hobbies to try and help distract him from the pain. He didn't need to get a job yet because the checks he got from the army were enough to pay for the basics, but of course they weren't nearly enough for him to buy a new leg. The one he had gotten two years ago was worn, and the knee got stuck and jammed constantly, but he would grin and bear it everyday because he was thankful that he was actually still alive, and he could still do plenty of things. He knew one too many people who couldn't say the same things.

Steve opened his eyes and turned to look at the clock. It read 3:15 and he sighed as he rolled over onto his stomach and clenched the pillow under his arms and tried to take his mind off the pain and just go back to sleep.

Sometime in the next hour he finally fell into blackness with the throbbing of a knee that wasn't there.

* * *

 

Steve was sitting at his dinky kitchen table drinking coffee from a white ceramic mug as he went through his mail. Bills, checks, and one letter addressed from Stark Industries. Steve rose an eyebrow at how expensive the envelope and carding was. It was thick and formal and address to him. He carefully peeled the envelope open and took out the letter, or invitation inside.

  
**Steven G. Rogers,**

**You have been formally invited to the Wounded Soldiers of War Fundraiser**

**It will be hosted by Tony Stark and held at the Stark Tower**

**Through the years together we have raised money to really make a difference,**

**We hope this year to be no different.**

**It will be a formal wear evening.**

**We thank you in advance for your service to our grand country and hope to see you there.**

 

It was followed by an address, date, and Steve's chuckle. He had received an invitation the past two years and he would probably get one the following years as well. He never went because they didn't seem all that important and he would see too many faces that had seen the same things he had, and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that yet.

As if on cue, his phone rang and Steve sighed as he got up and leaned against the wall and hopped his way to the kitchen counter where the phone was. It was still early morning and Steve's apartment was so small, he typically ignored his prosthetic in favor of literally hopping around. It was faster, and must less frustrating. He looked at the caller ID and saw Sam's name and number flash on the receiver as he picked it up.

" _I tried your cell first but figures it's off in your own apartment. God knows why you like land-lines so damn much._ " Sam said instead of a simple hello. Steve chuckled.

"They're much clearer and feel a lot more natural in my hand." Steve replied leaning against the counter to take some of the weight off of his leg.

" _I'd think that it'd be more convenient for you to just carry around your cell phone._ " Sam said and Steve just knew he was shaking his head. " _Did you get the letter?_ " He followed up with. Sam and Steve met at a group therapy session for wounded soldiers. He was in a wheelchair and had a blonde Labrador named Cassie. It was Steve's first meeting and it was his second week with the prosthetic leg. Steve still felt out of place basically everywhere he went, and he could always feel eyes on him. When he walked into that meeting and he saw a dog, he immediately moved to go sit closest to it. Dogs were nice, and dogs were safe. Sam gave him a knowing look when he sat down next to him and his dog. Steve and Cassie hit it off, and Sam had always said after that 'Steve I swear you're only here for my dog, and you just put up with me.' Sam was Steve's best friend and he couldn't imagine where his life would be without him.

"Yeah, I got the letter. Are you gonna go?" Steve replied after a long and careful silence.

" _I texted Natasha and asked if she would go with me, but she got sassy and said she'd only go if you went too._ " Natasha had been Steve's physical therapist and was one of the few people Steve trusted most. Her, Steve, and Sam would often go to events and different places together.

"You know I'm not into those things." Steve said frowning.

" _I know, I know, but come on. You have to go to one, there's free alcohol and a bunch of hot ladies. And dudes._ " Sam tried to get Steve to go both years they had known each other but Steve never went. He started to shake his head and opened his mouth to reply in the negative but Sam spoke over him, " _We could just show up for an hour and if you want to leave after that then we'll have Nat drive us home. Or to a bar._ " Steve bit his thumb and closed his eyes.

"Okay. But just an hour." Steve said after about a minute of silence.

" _Hell yeah!_ " Sam said down the line and Steve knew Sam had just punched his fist into the air. " _You're gonna have fun, Steve._ " Famous last words.

* * *

 

Steve had forgotten all about the fundraiser even with the invitation on the fridge. He did what he usually did. He worked out in his living room, watched the discovery channel, and went to an art gallery every now and then. Sometimes when his leg wasn't acting up too much he'd pick up his sketchbook and go to a cafe or park and just draw the surroundings. Other times he's sit on his couch and start to draw but he'd always draw faces of the past and whirl into a series of panic attacks some so bad he'd have to call Nat and she'd have to talk him back to reality. Not too often would he call her, only when it got to the point where he was going to pass out. He hated having to call her.

It wasn't until the night of the fundraiser when Sam called him and asked how pumped he was to go that he actually remembered he had to go.

" _You forgot didn't you?_ " Sam asked and Steve wanted to deny it.

"No, I didn't." Steve said and Sam didn't reply. Eventually Steve caved. "Okay, yes I forgot. But I just have to put on my uniform, it's not a big deal."

" _Right, I'll call you when we're outside, Mr. Don't-ever-text-me._ " Steve rolled his eyes but agreed and then hung up before going to his room and reaching into the back to grab his uniform.

He got it out and hung it up before sitting down on his bed. He had stripped his shirt and pants and was looking down at the scar where his thigh cut off. He rubbed his right hand up and down his thigh; digging his fingers into the muscle and enjoyed the relief the motion gave. He sighed as he reached over and grabbed his prosthetic and attached it to his thigh. He stood up and took the steps towards his suit. Steve had a slight limp when he walked but it was mainly just how uncomfortable the damn prosthetic was. He hated it when people could tell because he hated the looks of pity. He put on his suit and then walked to the bathroom to slick his hair back and brush his teeth. He was sitting at his kitchen table and rubbing his thigh when his cell rang.

"Hello?" Steve answered, knowing who it was.

" _Downstairs._ " Came Sam's curt reply.

"On my way down." Steve replied as he grabbed his wallet and his keys, and walked to the elevator and rode down to the ground floor. There was a car with Sam in the back with his wheelchair and Cassie with Natasha sitting in the drivers seat. Steve walked around to the passenger side and got his left side seated and had to pull his right leg in before he shut the door. Sam wolf-whistled behind him.

"You cleaned up nice. I always like it when you pull out the uniform." Sam said with a grin. Steve turned to look back at Sam's nearly identical uniform.

"You're looking good too." Steve said with a small smile.

"I know. I always look fine." Sam said, cocky as ever. Steve and Natasha rolled their eyes in sync.

"Hey Steve." Nat said as she pulled away from Steve's apartment building and drove towards the giant ugly tower with 'Stark' written across it. It took all of Steve's might not to roll his eyes at the thought of that stupid tower.

"Natasha. You're looking beautiful this evening." Steve said with a nod of his head. Natasha smiled.

"See, Sam, this is why I'm always Steve's date." She said and it made Steve chuckle.

"Please, just because he can chat you up?" Sam said as he moved over to pet Cassie. "At least I got Cas, she always get's me a girl."

"The only girl you're taking home tonight is Cas." Natasha said and the car ride continued in a similar fashion as Steve watching in amusement and occasionally added something. When they pulled up to the tower there was a valet and that was enough to make Steve feel out of his element. They had to park for a second while Nat got Sam's wheelchair and Steve helped Sam get into it. The valet took the car and the three of them went to the front of the doors and were told what floor to go to. They boarded the elevator and rode up with a man who had a prosthetic arm and his date. Steve felt anxiety sit in the bottom of his chest, ready to pounce when it found necessary and Steve rubbed at his thigh absentmindedly. Nat leaned into him slightly and he shot her a thankful smile as the doors opened.

* * *

 

Steve had been in the main hall for all of 20 minuets and had talked to one person other then Natasha and Sam. Her name was Pepper and she had made small talk before politely asking about his leg and he gave her a small summery that he had lost it overseas and was getting along just fine and she was a genuine and kind person who was pretty easy to talk to. She had excused herself to go speak to someone who had just arrived. He nodded and walked over to Natasha and told her he was going out for air. She frowned and went to grab him a glass of water and then touched his shoulder reassuringly before he nodded and wondered to the back wall full of doors that lead out to balconies. Steve walked to the furthest one and stepped out. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh air before walking to take a seat on a small bench. He sipped at his water and tried to force his thoughts away from anything dangerous. He snapped his eyes to the doors of the balcony as he heard a voice coming.

"Yes Rhodey, I did everything she said and she's still after me. Yes! She wants me to talk to people Rhodey. I didn't want to go in the first place! No I haven't had anything to drink, that's one of the problems, and-" The man the voice belonged to came to a stop as he turned to walk through the doors and froze as he saw Steve. "I'm going to have to call you back, there's the hottest man I've ever seen sitting on my balcony." The man took his phone away from his face as he smirked at Steve and then looked down at his uniform then back up. "Is that vodka?" The man asked as he took the glass and promptly took a sip before scrunching his face up in disgust and handing it back. "God no, it's water." Steve was literally stunned into silence. He opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off as the man sat next to Steve and started talking again. "The woman who runs my company and also my ex, told me that I could not flirt with any of the veterans here tonight, but I was not expecting you." The man looked him up and down, well the best he could given Steve was sitting down, before he gave a nice and easy smile to Steve. Steve was good enough at reading people to see how fake it was. He also had no clue what to say, so he asked the biggest question he currently had;

"Who are you?" This seemed to shock the man as he drew back for a second and then his face went right back to the easy smile.

"I'm Tony Stark." The man, Tony, had said. Steve rose his eyebrow.

"You're the guy who owns the ugly tower." Was the first thing to fall from Steve's lips which was not his finest moment, he will admit.

"Ugly? I put a lot of work into this tower, this is the most Eco friendly building in all of New York-" Tony replied with but Steve cut him off this time.

"It's still ugly." Tony seemed to be at a stand still.

"I'm not behind arguing with a veteran." Tony said narrowing his eyes.

"And I'm not behind arguing with an ass." Steve shot back.

"I resent that! I'm very kind, just not to people who insult my tower and don't know my name."

"Do you know my name?" Steve asked in return.

"No, bu-" Steve shook his head.

"Then you can't make that argument. I'm not an ass to everyone who doesn't know my name." Steve said raising an eyebrow.

"That's different." Tony said studying Steve's face.

"How so?" Steve asked in return.

"You're not a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist." Tony said becoming almost flustered.

"How do you know I'm none of those things? You don't even know who I am." He pointed out with a smirk.

"Oh I highly doubt that." Tony said with a laugh. Steve rose his eyebrows.

"Oh do you?" He mocked lightly.

"You know you're at my party on my balcony drinking my water, I could have you kicked out." Tony said in a way Steve knew he wasn't serious and he was about to throw something back into Tony's face but with humor because Steve has never lost his anxiety this fast while talking to someone. It felt so normal and it felt so good talking to this man no matter how big of an ass, because it was so utterly normal, but that was the exact moment a third voice entered their conversation.

"Tony! Oh my god! Captain Rogers, I am so sorry for Tony." Pepper had rounded the corner. Steve stood and shook his head about to insist it was quite fine, but Pepper continued on. "I told him he couldn't flirt but I didn't think I needed to tell him not to yell at veterans." She held up a finger as Tony started to talk. "Don't even tell me you didn't know he was a veteran, he's in his uniform." The next minute Tony just talked over Pepper and Pepper spoke over Tony.

"Pep, I didn't think he was a veteran-"

"Do not argue with me, Tony-"

"He looks like he's active duty-"

"I should have known you'd do something-"

"There's nothing even wrong with him-"

"You always do something stup-" Pepper stopped speaking at Tony's last statement. Tony had only seen Steve sitting and standing. He hadn't seen him walk. Tony had no clue about the prosthetic. Steve looked down at Pepper's heels and the way Pepper was looking at Tony was a mix of a glare and stunned shock. Tony had stopped speaking as well and looked from Steve to Pepper.

"What?" Tony asked genuinely confused.

"I should go," Steve said before Pepper could get the words out. He set his glass back onto the bench and then he walked, or more a appropriately; limped out the doorway and towards the party. He felt Tony and Pepper's eyes on his leg as he retreated. He clenched his eyes closed as he heard them speak in hushed tones that faded as Steve got further away. So much for feeling normal.

He cursed silently under his breath and felt the anxiety return in full swing. The noise of the party echoed in his ears. Clinking of glasses, forced laughter, voices overlapping and ringing back and forward. Steve was going to have a panic attack. His eyes searched for Natasha and Sam but his legs wouldn't work. He kept looking and looking and then he looked down as Cassie sniffed at his hand he rested his hand on her head on reflex and then Sam and Natasha where there. Nat's hand was laid gently on his shoulder as she softly pushed him towards the elevator. He got his legs to work enough to get him there and onto the elevator before he closed his eyes and started to count. Cassie nudged at his hand and he crouched to pet her in the silence of the elevator. He kept counting in his head. Higher and higher as he felt the soft fur beneath his finger tips. He focused on Cassie and numbers and not on where he was walking and the car and kept his thoughts as far from overseas and the people and events that happened there. Numbers. Fur. Breath. Numbers. In. Out. Somewhere between sucking in to much air in the car and the almost panic attack, Tony's smile came to his mind and he remembered to breath.

* * *

 

Steve woke up to a banging at his door. He had to take a minute not to flash back to _there_. To sand and to heat and to screams- more knocking. He found his breath and then got up and yelled out, "One minute!" He grabbed his prosthetic and quickly fastened in and then pulled on a pair of sleep pants before walking to the door. He opened the door and then his breath caught in his throat as he saw Tony Stark standing in front of him.

"Before you get upset, I'm here to apologize. Against strict orders because Pepper is convinced you're going to file a restraining order against me, but I am here to actually apologize-"

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" Steve interrupted Tony to ask.

"What." Tony said intelligently back.

"Aren't you supposed to be a genius?" Steve actually did look Tony up when he woke up at 4 in the morning to phantom pain and couldn't fall back asleep for two hours. Tony looked taken aback for a second before he nodded, smile slipping into place.

"I love coffee." He said simply as Steve moved out of the doorway. Tony walked into Steve's tiny apartment and looked around as Steve closed the door and started to the kitchen with Tony following.

"Do you take it black?" Steve asked as he moved to work his coffee machine.

"Yeah. Black is the best and only way to take it." Tony said moving to take a seat at the kitchen table. Steve had a larger table in the dinning room, but he often sat at his small kitchen table with room for two. Steve nodded but didn't say anything else until a thought came to him.

"How did you figure out where I live?" Steve asked as he tilted his head to the side. Tony looked at him for a second before answering.

"I looked Captain Rogers up in the army database and I found you." Steve turned around and put the coffee grinds away and grabbed a rag to clean the counter. He needed to look away and didn't want to be rude. He hummed in reply. "But I really did come to apologize," Tony had started to say but Steve had cut him off again.

"Don't." He said as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath in before turned to face Tony. "Don't apologize." He said as he walked across the kitchen to grab two clean mugs from the dishwasher he had yet to empty. He looked over at Tony and saw a look of uncertainty masked by an obviously fake smile. Steve rolled his eyes. "Just because I don't have a leg doesn't mean you have to apologize for something you would have done to anyone else." He didn't want to see the look on Tony's face at that, so he focused on pouring coffee into the two cups. He then moved to the table and set one in front of Tony and sat down to drink his own. Tony looked at the cup of coffee and then back to Steve before he grabbed the cup and took a sip. He looked unsure for a second and just looked at Steve before he seemed to decide something.

"I can't believe you called my tower ugly." Steve rolled his eyes but was glad for the comment.

"I can't believe you actually built it." He countered and he saw a genuine smile tug at the corner of Tony's lips.

"You can't call my tower ugly when you live in _Brooklyn_." Tony said shaking his head as he took a sip of his coffee.

"I've been a lot of places, and I've never been somewhere better then Brooklyn." Steve said over his cup of coffee with a shrug.

"And you have a land-line. And a TV from at least 10 years ago. Do you even own a cell phone?"

"Of course I do-" Steve started to say in his defense.

"What kind?" Tony asked with a kind of intensity not typically expressed towards cell phones.

"Nothing fancy just-" Steve was interrupted again.

"Does it have buttons?" Tony asked narrowing his eyes.

"I like the buttons,"

"Oh my god, I bet it's not even Stark tech." Tony said in disbelief.

"No?" Steve replied unsure if he should answer.

Something in Steve had started to loosen as they talked. It was easy in a way that nothing had been for a long time. There was no anxiety, or worry in the back of his head that he could have a panic attack at any second. He was breathing deep and even and for the first time in more then two years, he was fully at rest and completely comfortable talking to someone.

They carried on talking long after their mugs emptied, and it was as easy as breathing used to be and Steve didn't ever want to stop talking to Tony.

"How haven't you seen Pretty Woman? Oh my god you're so uncultured, Steve."

"I never got around to watching a bunch of movies I guess." He answered simply.

"Why?" Tony asked with genuine curiosity.

"Growing up wasn't all games and movies I guess. I was born with a lot of health issues and I had to work to get passed them, and we didn't have that much money so I'd do jobs when I could, to help out my mom. It just, didn't seem to matter that much." Steve shrugged as if him telling anyone this wasn't a big deal. It took months for even Sam to learn this stuff.

"Watching movies and building stuff was all I did as a kid. Of course there was a lot more, like there was a lot of drinking, both coffee and vodka, not at the same time, I had tried that once and swore it off forever, but it was a lot of all-nighters and building and lots of math." Tony played it off with that smile but Steve could tell that that was something Tony didn't share with just anyone.

"I remember one night..." Steve swallowed and tried to say the name but he just couldn't. "my... friend, and I got a bottle of Jack Daniels and that was the first night I had ever gotten drunk or even had alcohol ever. I don't remember a lot, but I remember us laying on the roof and talking about stars like we could see them and we ended up sneaking a bottle of his sisters nail polish and trying to paint each other's nails but we were laughing so hard none of it actually managed to get on our nails." Steve looked at his empty mug of coffee as he remembered with a smile.

"I met my friend Rhodey at collage but I was pretty amazed he talked to me considering when we met I was actually only about 16. We had a weird friendship but he was a great friend. It was two years before collage, I was probably around 14 when I build one of my bots, Dummy. I had been up for like 30 hours and had drank a ton of coffee and had maybe more alcohol then I should have." Tony said tapping his finger on the table top. Tony was constantly moving, even if only slightly.

"Bots?" Steve asked curiously.

"Yeah, robots. I have a few. Dummy and Butterfingers and then I have my AI, Artificial Intelligence. His name is JARVIS." Tony said with a small proud smirk. It sounded as if he was talking about his children.

"Why JARVIS?" Something flashed across Tony's face but just as quick as it was there; it was gone.

"Just A Rather Very Intelligent System." Tony answered with a nod. Steve smiled brightly at that.

"I like that." He said with a small chuckle and there was a look on Tony's face he couldn't place.

Tony opened his mouth to say something but then Tony's phone had started to ring from where it was in his pocket.

_I'm a boss ass bitch, bitch, bitch_

Steve rose an eyebrow in absolute judgment at that as Tony scrambled for his phone hitting his elbow on the back of his chair and a string of curses fell from Tony's lips.

"Shit, goddammit fuck," Tony said as he looked at the screen and then back to Steve.

_Boss ass bitch, bitch, bitch_

"Answer it, it's fine." Steve smirked. Tony narrowed his eyes at Steve as he tapped the screen on his phone and held it up to his ear.

"Hey Pepper-" Tony then winced as there was screaming from the other side of the phone. "No, I'm not harassing him- he invited me in for coffee! I'm not offending him- Pep, oh my god no all my clothes are on." Steve might have blushed at that. "Pepper he's not even a little bit mad. I think even if he was he could punch me and I'd be out cold, have you seen his biceps?" Steve absolutely blushed at that. "I am not- Pepper- I'm not- Hey I resent that, let me talk- oh my god- I AM NOT SEXUALLY HARASSING HIM! Pepper oh my sweet baby fucking Jesus will you listen to me- he made me coffee, he was more important then your texts Pepper oh my god." Steve had no clue what to say to any of this and he was glad that none of it was actually being said to him because he would be expected to answer and there was no way that was happening. "Meetings are for the weak Pepper. Why can't you go? You run my company, you can make those choices, I don't wanna go." Tony whined that out. "I'm not going." Steve reached out and rested a hand on the arm Tony had on the table. Steve was never one for casual touches, they tended to make his anxiety get worse but this felt natural. Tony's eyes looked to Steve immediately and he stopped talking.

"Go to the meeting." Steve said softly. "It's fine." Tony's hand with his phone had fallen from his ear slightly and Steve could faintly hear Pepper,

"Was that him? Is that Captain Rogers? He is a war veteran Tony and he is telling you-" Tony pulled the phone back up to his ear.

"I'll be there. See you in a few." Tony said before hanging up.

"You're sure?" Tony asked and it was weird to Steve because that didn't seem like something Tony would do. Ask that. Yet again he had known Tony not even 24 hours. He nodded anyways.

"Go. Meetings are important." Steve realized his hand was still on Tony's wrist and he pulled it back quickly.

"Can I have your number?" Tony said as he shook his phone in his hand.

"Of course." Steve said with a smile and Tony held his phone out and Steve looked uneasily at it. "I don't even know how to work Sam's phone and it looks a lot simpler then that one." Tony laughed at that.

"I'm gonna come back in two days with a new phone for you. Even if I have to spend all day teaching you how to use it. Okay?" Tony said as his fingers danced quickly across the screen of his phone.

"Yeah. That's fine." He replied with a smile. He told Tony both his land-line and his cell phone. He explained that calling his land-line was the best way to get a hold of him when he wasn't out.

Steve saw Tony to the door and there was a second where Steve wished he could have leaned over and kissed Tony. He shook the idea from his head and waved Tony goodbye.

Tony left and as soon as he was gone, Steve wished he wasn't. No one had put him at ease like that. Sucked the anxiety from him in a way that it hadn't been in over two years.

* * *

 

He called Sam and told him he wanted to talk to him and Natasha tomorrow and set up the time and place before he hung up. He wondered then if Tony had actually texted him, and so he walked to his room and sat on his bed and removed his prosthetic and then layed down on his bed and grabbed his phone. He had three text alerts all from Tony. He quickly saved Tony's number to his phone and had the thrilling total of 7 contacts.

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 12:13**

**This meeting is the most boring meeting I have ever attended.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 12:15**

**I hope you don't use text lingo**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 12:18**

**Please tell me you don't**

 

Steve chose to answer the first text and to ignore the other two. He didn't know what the hell 'text lingo' was.

 

 **To: Tony Stark  
** **Sent: 1:05**

**From what I could tell you don't attend many meetings.**

 

Steve was surprised to get a text back quickly, but he was excited none the less.

 

 **From: Tony Stark  
** **Received: 1:06**

**Have you been talking to Pepper?**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:08**

**Are you paying attention?**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:08**

**Oh my god you have been.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:09**

**You two are teaming up to ruin my life with meeting and threats of sleep.**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:13**

**You are over dramatic.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:14**

**I so am not**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:15**

**I am the perfect amount of dramatic, Steve.**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:19**

**Pay attention, Tony.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:20**

**Oh my god no it's too boring to even sorta listen.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:20**

**SHIT PEPPER SAW ME TEXTING**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:21**

**SHE JUST TEXTED ME A DEATH THREAT AND SAID STOP TEXTING**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:21**

**SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME, STEVE. COME SAVE ME**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:27**

**She won't kill you. Who'd sign her pay checks?**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:28**

**SHE'S CAN'T KILL ME WHEN I'M AT LEAST 64.920273% SURE THAT YOU LIKE ME**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1: 34**

**Define like**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:35**

**LIKE YOU LIKE ME AND MIGHT WANT TO KISS ME AT SOME POINT**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:40**

**If this morning counted as a date, I would've kissed you goodbye**

 

Steve blushed as red as a tomato as he sent that text. It took him two whole minutes to actually work up to sending it.

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:42**

**YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE OUT WITH ME ASAP**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:43**

**I'M LEAVING THIS MEETING RIGHT NOW AND DRIVING TO YOUR HOUSE.**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:47**

**Tony Stark, you are staying in that meeting until it is over. You'll see me in two days.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:48**

**THAT'S TWO DAYS FROM NOW**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:51**

**Yes. It is. You can tell time, I'm so proud.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 1:52**

**I CAN'T WAIT TWO DAYS STEVE**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 1:58**

**Yes you can, you'll be fine.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 2:00**

**I'M WANT TO SEE YOU NOW THOUGH**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 2:03**

**See you in two days.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 2:04**

**THAT'S SO LONG**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 2:15**

**Fine. I'll be there at noon with technology. Make coffee <3  
**

* * *

Steve slept all through the night without any pain in his leg at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm actually gonna write the whole thing guys.  
> Hopefully.
> 
> It should be 4 chapters but it might totally change, but the next chapter is gonna have sexy times! I'm like so excited you have no idea.
> 
> So I am a student so I have school and stuff so my writing times are gonna be way wacko.
> 
> I kinda read through this for mistakes because it's a school night and it's pretty late and I have to do homework and I'm so shucked.

_Beep!_

_Beep!_

_Beep!_

Steve rolled over and shoved a pillow over his head.

_Beep!_

"What the hell," He said groggily as he reached for his phone which would for the love of god not stop beeping. He had 6 texts. All from Tony.

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 3:59**

**So I've been building something**

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 4:00**

**But I ran into a technical difficulty**

**From:Tony Stark  
Received: 6:18**

**I need to see you as soon as possible because I totally need your help.**

 

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 6:19**  

**So if we could meet today and not two days from now that'd be great**

**From: Tony Stark  
** **Received: 6:19**

**Like let's meet right now**

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 6:21**

**Are you still asleep?**

Steve wanted to feel annoyed that he wasn't being able to sleep until 7 like he usually did, but it was Tony and something about that made it extremely endearing.

 

**To: Tony Stark  
Sent: 6:25**

**I'm not now**

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 6:26**

**Steeeevvveee**

**To: Tony Stark  
** **Sent: 6:29**

**Did you sleep at all**

**From: Tony Stark  
Received: 6:30**

**No I was building something remember?**

**To: Tony Stark  
** **Sent: 6:34** **  
**

**Go to sleep Tony.**

**From: Tony Stark  
** **Received: 6:34**

******I don't wannnaaaa**

****

**To: Tony Stark  
** **Sent: 6:38** **  
**

**I'm sleeping for 30 more minutes**

**From: Tony Stark  
** **Received: 6:39**

******Do you have to be somewhere today????**

 

**To: Tony Stark  
** **Sent: 6:42**

**As a matter of fact, I do. I'm going to breakfast with Sam and Natasha.**

**From: Tony Stark  
** **Received: 6:43** **  
**

**Is it time for breakfast?**

**To: Tony Stark  
** **Sent: 6:46** **  
**

**I'll text you when I'm actually up**

**From: Tony Stark  
** **Received: 6:47** **  
**

**Told you I'd get you to text.**

 

Steve rolled his eyes at that last text before he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

* * *

Steve and Sam had agreed to meet at a small cafe not far from Steve's apartment. Truthfully, Steve hated when Natasha drove him around a lot. He felt like dead weight she had to lug everywhere. So he liked to walk places when he could. He felt truly independent and that was like a breath of fresh air.

Steve was sitting at their table and texting Tony, waiting for Nat and Sam to get there. He had just gotten a text back from Tony that made him laugh and shake his head and hurry to text him back.

"That is not Steve." Steve looked up to see Sam with Cassie and Natasha approaching the table. "That is a pod-person because Steve Rogers does not text. Anyone. Ever." Sam said as he rested his elbows on the table. "Who are you texting?" He asked as Natasha sat down.

"It is pretty weird to see you laugh and then text someone." Natasha said with a raised brow. Steve looked at both of them and opened his mouth to say something but his phone vibrated with a text. Natasha's look of judgement increased impossibly. "You texted them back not even a minute ago and they already replied?"

"He's a fast texter." Steve said with a shrug but made no move to check his phone.

"Oh, Nat it's a boy." Sam said wiggling his eyebrows. Steve bit his lip and looked at Nat and Sam.

"You guys cannot give me crap okay?" Steve said hesitantly. Natasha nodded before he even finished his sentence.

"I make no promises." Sam said with a joking smile. Steve took a deep breath and was about to tell them when the waitress came up to their table and then took their drink order.

Sam looked slightly impatient as she stood there and wrote down their drinks and then handed them their menus before going to get their drinks.

"Man, I am dying of anticipation who the hell is it?" Sam said leaning further on the table. Cassie was wagging her tail as if she too wanted to know.

"It's Tony Stark." Steve said rubbing at his thigh under the table.

"Ha ha real funny Steve, but really who is it?" Sam looked at Steve expectantly. He swallowed and Natasha's mouth was open slightly in shock.

"What happened the night of the party?" She said with calm curiosity. Natasha had of course put two and two together.

"I uh, went outside and was just sitting on a bench when Tony came around a corner and saw me." He chose to leave out the 'hottest man I've seen in my life' bit. "We talked and then Ms. Potts came and thought that Tony was threatening to kick me out of the party-"

"Was he?" Natasha interrupted with a glare. Steve shook his head immediately.

"He was just teasing. There was no actual heat behind it, but Tony said something to her about there being nothing wrong with me, and I looked active duty and he had no clue about," Steve gestured with his hand in the direction of his leg.

"There is nothing wrong with you, you know that right?" That was not the first time Nat had said that, and it surly wouldn't be the last. Steve looked down at the table as she said it and then rubbed his thigh.

"Yeah, I know." Steve said back as he swallowed.

"As much as I love Steve's self acceptance, I really wanna know what happened next." Sam said and Steve was grateful for that.

"Then I excused myself and walked away and that's when Tony figured it out and that was then the...." Steve moved his hand about for a second and Nat and Sam got that that was when the panic attack happened.

"But how's you get his number?" Sam asked confused.

"Yesterday morning I woke up to someone knocking on my door. It was Tony, don't ask how he knew where I lived. I invited him in for coffee and he's a nice guy. I'm seeing him again tomorrow." Natasha and Sam shared a look. "What?" Steve asked with genuine confusion.

"Steve, Tony Stark isn't really known for... relationships." Natasha said with a frown.

"He's probably had more one night stands then any man on this planet." Sam added. "He did have a thing with Pepper Potts for a while, but I don't even want to know what happened there." Steve wanted to defend Tony from that accusation, but he didn't know Tony well enough to provide evidence against it.

"Yeah, Tony Stark is taking a day off to teach a war veteran with one leg how to use a new phone so he can later bang said man with one leg. Real sexy. Nice notch in the bedpost." Steve said digging his fingers into his thigh. Sam and Natasha looked down and Steve felt bad for snapping. "I'm sorry." He said shaking his head.

"Steve-" Natasha started to say but Steve cut her off.

"Look, I don't know much about Tony Stark in terms of the media. Just a quick search on the internet and that was it. But I actually sat down and spoke to this man. That's something neither of you did, so I think in personal terms I know Tony slightly better. It's my call if I want to see Tony and if I want to..." He trailed off leaving the possible sex part out. Natasha had a proud smirk on her face and Sam looked kinda happy at the prospect of Steve 'getting some.'

"There's the Steve we all know and love." Sam said with a laugh as the waitress came up to their table and gave them their drinks. They ordered their food and as the waitress walked away Natasha turned to Steve in all seriousness.

"I need you to do something for me though, Steve." She said; her eyes unwavering. Steve nodded immediately.

"You have to tell me how good Tony Stark is in bed."

Steve absolutely did not blush.

* * *

Steve texted Tony throughout the rest of the day and into the evening. Around 9 or so he finally convinced Tony to go to sleep and that he'd see Tony tomorrow. Steve fell asleep excited and happy.

* * *

At 3:43 am Steve cursed as he woke from a nightmare and phantom pain. He remembered that Tony would be there at noon and he finally drifted back to sleep.

* * *

Steve stood in front of his mirror and looked at his reflection. He was wearing a casual button down with the two top buttons undone, with a pair of almost tight jeans that didn't show his prosthetic. He really missed his tighter jeans. And he was so allowed to miss slacks and khakis no matter how old Sam said they made him look. He wanted to tuck his shirt into his jeans but he knew that wasn't really the most 'sexy' option but everything felt really... loose and Steve wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He was biting his lower lip and rubbing his fingers into the muscle of his right thigh when there was a knock on the door. Steve felt his heart skip a beat as he walked out of his bathroom and to the front door. He took a deep breath and opened the door to see Tony standing there. He was wearing fairly clean looking jeans that framed Tony's legs perfectly. Steve ran his tongue across his bottom lip as he dragged his stare up to look at Tony's chest which was covered by a faded AC DC shirt with a blue light glowing behind it. Steve had read faintly about Tony's kidnapping a few years ago but it felt wrong to just know something like that about someone.

"Wow, and I thought you couldn't get any sexier then the uniform." Tony said with a cocky grin. Steve blushed and moved aside so Tony could come inside. Tony walked right in and went to the kitchen table they had occupied the two days prier. "Oh my god yes you made coffee." Tony said and Steve heard a cabinet open and the sound of two cups hitting the counter as he closed the door and made his way to the kitchen as well.

"You told me to." Steve replied as he sat down and pulled his right leg further under the table. Tony watched the movement from the corner of his eye as he walked to the table and set a cup in front of Steve.

"Do you always wear it?" Tony asked sitting down across from Steve. He knew what Tony was talking about immediately. They had never actually talked about Steve's leg or lack thereof.

"Usually not when I'm home alone." Steve answered as he took a sip of his coffee. "The knee sticks a lot, and it's just a pain to use all the time."

"Like it's uncomfortable?" Tony looked honestly curious, and Steve actually felt completely comfortable talking about his leg with Tony.

"Yeah," Steve ran his hand down his thigh to where the prosthetic was. "It's a few years old so it's a little worn down."

"Do you still go to," Tony waved the hand that wasn't holding his coffee. "physical therapy?" Tony looked slightly unsure if he was allowed to ask, but Steve was grateful he did in the end. Steve didn't want to be afraid of talking about his leg.

"Natasha, I talked about her the other day, she was actually my physical therapist. That's how we met, so if the pain spikes up or gets particularly bad I'll go see her and she'll help." Steve said trying to let his ease of the subject show, so Tony would feel free to ask more questions.

"Have you thought about getting a new prosthetic?" Tony asked taking a long sip of his coffee. Steve sighed as he looked back to his leg.

"I would, but they're so damn expensive. It's fine, it's not like I can't get around obviously, but." Steve shrugged and bounced his right leg up and down a few times. Tony nodded and then frowned for a second as if thinking about something intensely, but then came to a choice apparently.

"Do you ever have like, phantom pain? I think that's what it's called." Tony asked running his fingers across the lip of his mug of coffee. Steve swallowed and moved in his seat slightly. "You don't have to talk to me about this, like it's not a big deal." Tony said as he noticed Steve's slight discomfort.

"No, it's fine." Steve shook his head and then focused back on the question. "Yeah, it's called phantom pain." He paused for a second but then continued, "It doesn't typically happen during the day at all, but when I'm sleeping sometimes I'll have a dream where I have both of my legs or about the..." He cleared his throat and rubbed his thigh. "I'll wake up and it'll hurt, sometimes just a faint throbbing or a really intense pain." Tony nodded and then looked into his coffee cup before taking a sip and then setting it gently on the table.

"I know it's not the same, but sometimes I forget about the arc reactor." Tony looked at Steve for a second before continuing. "Did you look me up?" He followed with next.

"I, well," Steve shook his head. "I did a brief search. I only found out about Stark Industries and saw an article about the..." Steve wasn't sure if he should say kidnapping or about Afghanistan. Steve was an idiot.

"So you don't know much?" Tony said waiting for Steve's nod of agreement. "Figures you're the only person who wouldn't be nosy." Tony said lightly with a small smile that made something inside Steve loosen. "The arc reactor is a magnet that keeps shrapnel in my chest from entering my heart and ripping it apart. It's a basically limitless power source. That's why it glows blue." Tony ran his fingers across his shirt where the blue shown through slightly. "Anyways, I forget about it sometimes and when I first wake up or if I've been drinking too much I'll touch it on accident and it'll scare me. I'll forget why there's metal sticking out of my chest." Steve's eyes left Tony's face to look down at the arc reactor. He wanted to touch it, and trace it with his fingertips.

"You said earlier that it's not the same," Steve said, growing bold. "But it is. Pain is pain. It doesn't matter if it's a limb that's gone or metal in your chest. Pain is pain, and there is no difference." Tony had belittled his pain just because it showed differently, and it wasn't fair that no one had told Tony this before.

Tony's eyes were wide and his face was shocked. His finger that was tapping against his coffee cup had stopped and he just looked at Steve for a second. Steve looked down at the floor out of shyness from Tony's full attention.

"You- I," Tony didn't really seem to know what to say to that. "I really want to kiss you." Steve's eyes shot up to look at Tony. He just looked back at Tony and even though Tony didn't really ask, Steve nodded. Tony licked his lips and stood up and stepped closer to Steve which eliminated Steve's anxiety on if he should stand too or not. Tony's hand cupped Steve's jaw tenderly as the older man bent down slightly until his lips where hovering right in front of Steve's. Steve swallowed and then surged forward the final few inches so that his lips were finally pressed against Tony's. Steve wasn't sure what to do with his hands as Tony kept the kiss gentle and sweet. Then Tony's tongue swiped across the seem of Steve's lips and he parted them in excitement of kissing Tony. He felt Tony chuckle against him before he licked into Steve's mouth and boy didn't Tony know what to do with his tongue. Steve had to lift a hand to Tony's shoulder to center himself because of how  _good_ Tony was kissing him. He whimpered against Tony's lips and that was when Tony pulled back. Steve set a hand on the table and stood up; pushing his chair back as he did so. He was a good few inches taller then Tony and now that he was standing he was able to touch more of the older man. Steve rested his hands on Tony's hips and Tony rested his hands palm down against Steve's chest and they just stood there breathing each other in for a second.

"You totally don't have to say yes just because I'm asking, but would you maybe like to move this party horizontally? In a bed? Like your bed? With maybe less clothes?" Tony asked with his eyes closed as if he was making of fool of himself just by asking. Steve thought it was the cutest thing he has ever seen. He leaned down and kissed Tony until they were both breathless.

"I- um, yes. I really do, but um," Steve closed his eyes and swallowed. If his hand wasn't happy where it was on Tony's hip, he might have rubbed his thigh. "My leg um-" Tony shook his head and cut Steve off.

"If you are seriously worrying about that then stop. Stop right now because it's ridiculous to be worrying about that. I'm not gonna freak or anything. I mean, I'm the guy with a glowing chunk of metal in his chest." Tony was rambling and Steve kissed him just to get him to calm down.

"Okay." Steve whispered keeping his eyes closed.

"Okay?" Tony whispered back and it made Steve smile.

"Just because I don't have a leg doesn't make this a John Green novel." Steve said and Tony had to toss his head back to laugh. Steve grinned as he moved to start towards his bedroom.

"Did you seriously read that book?" Tony asked as they walked.

"You're the one who understood the reference." Steve shot back and Tony didn't have a reply to that.

Steve took a deep breath when he got to his bedroom door and paused with his hand on the doorknob. He felt Tony place a reassuring hand between his shoulder blades and it made a small smile spread on Steve's lips right before he opened the door and stepped into his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do leave a comment if you liked it because when I lose my motivation to write I just read the comments and it's like holy shit kat, people like your writing you have to write for them you lazy shank.
> 
> That's literally what happens I'm not kidding.
> 
> But <3 thank you for reading :)
> 
> Also! I didn't not forget about the phone part of the date thing! I have a cute idea for it later, so do not I have forgotten Steve's issues with technology and Tony trying to help. <3 :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm hey? I finally wrote the next chapter. *Yay* I've actually been working on it slowly through the past 4 months, but I'd write like two pages in one sitting and get distracted and not touch it again for like 5 more weeks, so I'm sorry I suck, but hey, have some smut as a valid apology.

Steve swallowed as he walked into his bedroom. His heart was beating fast, not just because he was nervous, and he really was nervous, but in anticipation as well. He walked up to his bed and looked down at the sheets and he felt Tony’s hand come up to rest at his lower back.

“We really don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, Steve.” Tony whispered as if the moment was fragile and if he spoke too loud he’d break it. Steve shook his head and closed his eyes.

“No. I want to. It’s just…” Steve trailed off and brought a hand to rub at his thigh. “It’s been awhile since…” Her he didn't finish. He felt stupid because it’d been years, he should be able to have sex without thinking about her. He clenched his jaw and rubbed harder at his thigh. He felt a hand wrap around his fingers; stopping the movement.

“Steve,” Tony paused and Steve turned his head to look at the older man. He looked uncertain and nervous. Tony pulled Steve’s hand up and brought it up to his lips and laid a gentle kiss on one of his knuckles. The action was so genuine and personal it took Steve’s breath away. The way Tony was looking at him was so vulnerable, Steve had to swallow at the intensity of it.

Steve pushed down all the reservations he had and leaned forward and connected their lips. He turned to face Tony completely so they weren't at an angle and that put his back towards the bed. Tony didn't let go of his hand and intertwined their fingers and the movement made Steve’s heart pound even harder in his chest. But it wasn't the panic kind of beating, like a normal excited beating and at that realization he put even more into the kiss. Tony made a noise of approval.

The kiss was wet and warm, everything he had missed from kissing. Tony was also exceptionally good at it. He knew where his tongue should be and exactly when it should be there. Steve was practically melting into Tony and it seemed neither of them were fighting it. Tony pulled away first and chuckled against Steve’s jaw.

“Not all of us can have basic in-human breathing,” Tony gasped with a smile. Steve smirked as he ran his hand up Tony’s back. Steve felt suddenly unsure of himself. He knew they should maybe lay down, but he wasn't sure how Tony wanted to… he felt a blush rise on his cheeks and cursed his lack of… stoicism in the bedroom. Tony must have realized because he pulled away and grinned. “Are you blushing?”

“No.” Steve said as he blushed harder and smirked. Tony shook his head. “So, um-” He cleared his throat, “How do you want to…” He waved a hand towards Tony, then himself and finished gesturing towards the mattress. Tony not only smiled but grinned. It wasn't that fake grin from earlier. It was real and genuine, and Steve couldn't help but grin back through his blush and embarrassment.

“Do you just wanna sit against the headboard?” Tony asked while biting back on his smile; making as much of an effort as possible to keep his lips in a smirk. It wasn't working well.

Steve nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed first and moved out of reflex to take off the prosthetic before he froze and realized he had no idea what to do here. His doctors, Natasha, and Sam had been the only people to see his leg and he couldn't help but wonder what Tony would do when he saw the scars, and-

“Hey, Steve,” Tony had kneeled down in front of him and hesitantly rested a hand on his knee. The only one he had his mind helplessly supplied. He didn't want to look Tony in the eye. “Steve.” He said more pressing, and Steve looked up and saw Tony’s concerned eyes looking back. “It’s okay. You can take it off.” He smiled a little before continuing almost nervously, “Or leave it on, if you want. It’s honestly whatever makes you comfortable. And if you want to just pretend this never happened and go back to coffee than that is entirely up to you and-”

“Tony. It’s fine. I’ll take it off.” Steve said shooting Tony a small smile. He moved his hands to take off his jeans but Tony cleared his throat and Steve looked up at him.

“Can I take it off?” Tony cringed at how it sounded and Steve just gave him a lopsided smile and nodded. “Lay back?” He mostly asked and Steve laid his back down on the bed without another word. Tony was kneeling between Steve’s legs on the floor and just thinking about that made some of the nervousness get replaced by arousal.

Tony unbuttoned and pulled the zipper down on his jeans and started to tug them down. Steve had to lift off the mattress in order for Tony to get the jeans down to his knees and off his calves until they were free of his legs entirely and Tony tossed them somewhere behind him. Steve rolled his eyes. Tony’s full attention was now at the stretch of skin where it met the prosthetic and Steve’s nervousness came back full force. He bit his lip and kept his eyes looking up at the ceiling. He felt Tony’s fingers touch his hip which was barely clothed by his briefs. Steve swallowed and closed his eyes as Tony’s fingers trailed down over the skin of his right thigh and then it went over the sock keeping the prosthetic attached to his leg. Tony began to remove it and Steve clenched his jaw and kept his eyes closed. He felt vulnerable in a way hadn't felt with another human in a long time. His mind was trying to go back to the past, when he lost his leg but he needed to stay in the here and now.

With Tony.

Perfect Tony who didn't look at Steve like he was less than because he didn't have all of his leg. Because of what he’d seen in war. Tony with his laugh and his beard which felt incredible against his skin when they kissed. Tony who got Steve to text and who made him feel alive in a way he really hadn't since he came back two years ago. Tony who made Steve feel lit up inside, like a thousand fireflies were racing through his veins. Tony who Steve could easily fall in love with. He was well on his way.

There was a clank against the floor as Tony sat the prosthetic down. Steve opened his eyes and smiled a little.

“You okay?” Tony asked sounding nervous himself, but there was something else there that Steve couldn't identify.

“Yes.” Was all Steve could reply with at that moment. Then Steve realized his leg, what was left of it, was open for Tony to see and Steve lifted his head to look down and see what Tony was doing. He was looking up at Steve with a hand raised like he wanted to touch. He wanted permission. Steve nodded and then moved up onto his elbows to better see what Tony was doing. Tony’s hand touched his upper thigh first and started to move down again. There was no trace of hesitation in the movement as the fingers moved down over his scar. Tony leaned down and kissed the skin right above it and the breath was knocked from Steve’s lungs at how caring and gentle it was.

“Tony…” Steve rasped out and swallowed thickly. Tony looked up with a small smile.

“You’re gorgeous.” Was all Tony replied with. Steve just looked at Tony with his jaw open because he had no idea what to say to that. Then Tony smirked. “You are really quite gorgeous but I’d love to blow you.” Steve laughed and fell back onto the bed.

“Tony, you’re going to be the death of me.” Steve said as he shook his head and smiled fondly. Tony chuckled and then placed a kiss on his left knee.

“Do you wanna take off your shirt?” Tony asked as he ran his hand up his left leg. Steve nodded and sat up and quickly pulled it off and folded it and set it gently at the end of the bed. Tony raised an eyebrow and then shook his head. Steve refused to be judged for it. Tony looked up at him and smiled.

“Are you just gonna keep smiling at me, or are you actually gonna kiss me?” Steve said as his old habits in the bedroom kicked in. He wasn’t always shy and blushing. Which was a lie, he most always blushed outside the bedroom, but inside? He did alright.

At least, that’s what he was told.

Tony looked shocked for a second before surging up to kiss Steve hungrily. Their lips clashed together and it was hot. Tony’s hands move up to touch Steve’s chest, and Steve’s fingers were tugging at the bottom of Tony’s shirt with urgency because he wanted to touch as much of Tony as he could. Tony chuckled against his lips before pulling back to tug off his shirt and then immediately crash their lips back together. Steve cupped Tony’s face between his hands and then he moved them down to touch the smooth skin of his neck and then he moved across shoulders and then to Tony’s chest and-

His fingers hit cool metal and he pulled back before remembering. He looked at it for a second, but didn’t move his fingers. The blue glow was lighting up between them and he wondered how he hadn’t noticed it sooner. He placed his hands on either side it, and his thumbs rested gently against the metal.

“You called it the arc reactor?” Steve said in a small voice. He didn’t take his eyes off of it. This small thing could keep Tony alive for the rest of his life, and that was amazing. He couldn’t even fathom it.

“Yeah.” Tony answered in a whisper.

“It’s beautiful.” Steve said as he moved his fingers to trace around the scar tissue, and Tony shivered. That made Steve stop and look up at him; unsure what he did, or what to do.

“No, it’s fine.” Tony said reassuringly with a tight smile. Steve pulled his hands away and Tony continued. “No one has touched it. Like that.”

“What do you mean ‘like that’?” Steve asked as he moved his hands to rest at Tony’s ribs instead. Tony took in a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“Gentely. Softy. Or whatever.” Tony looked down. “The person I was with before this, the really only other person I was serious about, she didn’t really like to look at it. She avoided it, and it wasn’t her fault or anything but-” Steve took one hand up and caressed Tony’s cheek; making the older man look at him.

“Tony, I love this.” Steve tapped the center of the arc reactor. “It keeps you alive. It keeps you breathing, and your heart beating, and as far as I’m concerned it’s the best damn invention I’ve ever seen, fitted for the best damn person I’ve ever met.” Steve smiled at Tony. “Blue was always my favorite color anyways.” Tony’s eyes were watering and he was just looking at Steve. His lips were parted and his deep and rich chocolate eyes were searching for something in Steve’s face. Tony nodded slowly before looking up and laughing.

“That was- you are,” Tony laughed for a few more seconds. “I wish I’d met you years ago.” He finished; eyes twinkling up at Steve.

“Well you know me now.” Steve said as he leaned down to kiss Tony. They kissed for a few moments; lips gliding against lips and Steve focused on breathing Tony in and letting go of that fear of rejection.

Tony pulled back first and pushed gently on Steve’s shoulders, silently asking him to lay back down. Steve complied laying back on the mattress with his leg over the edge resting on the floor; foot resting next to Tony’s knees where he was still kneeling. Tony’s fingers moved up Steve’s calf and over his knee up to his thigh and rested on his hip. Steve closed his eyes and just focused on what Tony was doing, and trying to enjoy the sensations of the other man’s hands as much as possible. He let out a small gasp as Tony’s lips kissed the inside of his left thigh and started to suck a mark onto the skin. Steve could actually feel blood pumping to his dick and he was slowly starting to get hard.

Tony nosed up higher until his lips touched the fabric of Steve’s briefs. Steve moved onto his elbows so he could actually see what Tony was doing. As he looked down he was met by Tony’s eyes looking up into his and the sight took Steve’s breath away. Tony kept eye contact as he opened his mouth and sucked another much onto the skin directly below the line of fabric. Steve swallowed audibly and wanted that pressure to be on his dick that very second, but he didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. He let Tony continue to slowly kill him with his mouth. The very mouth that was moving onto his right thigh to suck a mark a few inches above where the skin started to slope down and he was slightly surprised as a quiet moan came from his chest. His right thigh had always been more sensitive, but he never knew it could be a _good_ sensitive. Tony had a shiteating grin on his face as he moved up slightly and sucked another mark and Steve released the same noise.

“Tony,” Steve said in an almost whisper. He wanted Tony’s mouth higher. Much higher.

“Yeah?” Tony murmured against Steve’s skin, not at all moving towards where he was needed.

“Tony.” Steve said more firmly. Tony chuckled and looked up from Steve’s skin to his eyes.

“Do you need something, Steve?” Tony asked before sucking another mark on Steve’s inner left thigh.

So Tony wanted him to say it. A blush spread to Steve’s cheeks at the idea of it.

“I want your mouth…” Steve drifted off and he closed his eyes and fell back onto the bed. “Higher.” He finished lamely. He felt Tony move higher and then his mouth was sucking another mark onto the skin directly above his briefs. It felt good, and he let out a sigh of pleasure, but it still wasn’t where he wanted Tony’s mouth.

“Here?” Tony asked before licking up to Steve’s bellybutton and dipping his tongue in and prying another sound from Steve’s mouth.

Steve shook his head after remembering what they were talking about again.

“Lower.” Steve said as he brought a hand up to rest his forearm over his eyes. He could feel Tony smiling smugly at how he was affecting Steve. Tony slipped two fingers under the band of Steve’s briefs right over his left hip and tugged them down a little, but only enough to reveal the skin needed to suck another mark. Tony was teasing him to breaking and it was working, he only needed to hold on a little longer… His trail of thought was interrupted by Tony’s mouth sucking harder onto the skin; leaving a darker mark than the rest. It felt so good, and it just made his dick strain against his briefs for those lips to be wrapped around it.

“Tony,” Steve tried again, hoping the slight edge of desperation leaking into his voice would be enough for Tony to give in first.

“What would you like, Steve?” Tony said sweetly. Mischievously sweetly. Steve was going to have to say it. There was no way around it.

“I want your mouth on my dick.” Steve said finally. “Please.” Just because he was desperate didn’t mean he had to be rude.

Those were apparently the magic words because as soon as he had finished speaking Tony licked a wide strip up from bottom of Steve’s dick. Steve released a sound he hadn’t heard himself make in a long time and arch his back slightly. He lowered his hand on reflex, but was suddenly unsure where to put it. As Tony took the head of his dick into his mouth all Steve saw was white and he had to focus on keeping his hips still on the bed. His hand was still hovering in the air as he panted slightly and licked his lips.

“You can pull my hair, if you want. You don’t have to worry about thrusting up, or pushing me down, I’m kinda pretty great at giving head.” Tony said with a lopsided grin and Steve replied only by lowering his hand to rest on the back of Tony’s head and thread his fingers through the soft strands. Something loosened his his chest at that because it felt so natural and smooth that he felt at ease.

The fact that Tony was also tonguing at the head of his dick helped too, but.

“Tony,” He whispered out as he gripped to the roots of Tony’s hair, but was ever cautious of pulling too tightly. Tony was taking the head of his dick into his mouth again and sucked around it; his cheeks hollowing and Steve couldn’t help the buck of his hips at that, because all he wanted was Tony’s mouth to be doing _that_ to his whole length. Tony seemed to get the message and moved lower taking in more and Steve whispered out Tony’s name again. Tony pulled off with a slight pop that made Steve blush,

“Are you always this quiet in bed?” Tony asked before tonguing at the slit, but still maintaining conversation as if he was asking if he wanted coffee or tea at the kitchen table. It drove Steve nuts.

“Um- I uh-” Tony’s tongue was very distracting, Steve was having a hard time stringing a single thought together. “Y- yes, I- oh, think so,” He finally strangled out and then swallowed thickly.

“Well, I’ll just have to change that now, won’t I?” Tony said and Steve couldn’t even reply because Tony was taking all of Steve into his mouth and then he hollowed his cheeks again.

“Tony!” He said in an almost shout as he arched his back. Tony started to bob his head up and down in a rhythm that was slowly making Steve drift closer to the edge.

After that he mainly kept it to whimpers and to soft sighs and whispers of Tony’s name. Steve just wasn’t loud in bed. It didn’t matter how much he was enjoying himself, and he really was enjoying Tony’s mouth- he really was, but in the bedroom he was quiet. That’s how it always was.

But it appeared Tony was taking it as his personal mission to change that as he took Steve down until his nose was brushing the light dusting of hair there and then swallowed. When Steve shouted at that, he could feel Tony’s smirk around him. And to make it worse, Tony hummed as he continued to bob his head and Steve’s eyes practically rolled into the back of his head.

“Tony, if you keep-” Steve had to pause for a moment to concentrate on not thrusting his hips again. “that up, I’m gonna,” He swallowed and left it at that.

“Gonna what?” Tony said after pulling off for a moment before licking up the back of Steve’s dick and then took the head into his mouth and tongued at the slit.

“Oh my-!” Steve bit his tongue, he was approaching the edge all too soon, and he didn’t want this to be over.

“You’re going to what, I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” Tony said through a smirk as he slowly worked Steve with his hand and went back to what appeared to be his favorite part of Steve with his mouth.

“Tony, I’m gonna- gonna” Tony swirled his tongue around his head and Steve almost came that second, “Come!” He finished with a loud moan.

“So come.” Tony said after he pulled off. “We have all the time in the world for as many orgasms as possible.” This surprised Steve slightly, even though everything about Tony so far had pointed to Tony being kinda serious about this, but hearing how much time he was setting aside just for Steve… It felt special almost. He nodded his head and rested his hand at the nape of Tony’s neck and his thumb rubbed gently just under his hairline. He felt Tony pause and looked down to see what was wrong and saw the look on his face. It was almost disbelief but was gone as quickly as it appeared and Tony smiled a small smile that seemed more for himself than anything and went back to his prior activities with a new determination.

Tony quickened his pace as he bobbed his head up and down and used one hand to grip the base and get to where he couldn’t with his mouth currently. His other hand moved up and traveled over his ribs and Steve let out a gasp at that and then the tips of Tony’s fingers moved slowly down his side and Steve scrunched up his face in pleasure as he felt his orgasm coming.

“Tony- I’m going to- Tony!” He pulled at Tony’s hair, out of warning or because he felt so good and the burning in his spine was moving everywhere he wasn’t sure. But Tony kept going and moaned around Steve as his hair was pulled and then Steve was coming and shouting Tony’s name. The burning turned to fire that felt so good his back arched and his fingers gripped the bedsheets in a desperate need to hold on because he wasn’t just falling over the edge; he was diving head first.

He wasn’t sure how many times he said Tony’s name, but when he finally started to come down, the end of Tony’s name was falling through his lips. He had to pull Tony’s hair as a sign he was too sensitive and Tony pulled up and then climbed up the bed and straddled Steve’s hips and leaned down to kiss him. Steve returned the kiss with fever and rested one hand on Tony’s hip and used the other to slowly jerk Tony, and judging by the sound he had let out at just the touch of Steve’s fingers; Tony was close.

“Steve, fuck just-” Tony said with his eyes closed as he bucked forward into Steve’s hand. “Just a little tighter- yeah, fuck just like that.” Steve couldn’t take his eyes off Tony’s face. His eyes were closed and a smile of bliss and pleasure played at his lips and all of a sudden Steve felt a need inside him to see Tony’s eyes.

“Look at me. Open your eyes.” Steve said, moving the hand at Tony’s hip up to cup his jaw. Tony slowly opened his eyes and blinked down at Steve. The deep chocolate brown was swallowing Steve’s attention and took his breath away. He tightened his hand and moved it faster around Tony. Tony’s lips parted and a silent gasp came out as he came over Steve’s fist and onto his stomach and chest. Steve didn’t look away from Tony’s eyes for one second and neither did Tony from his.

Tony eventually collapsed onto Steve as he tried to get his breath back. Steve smiled and then looked down at his stomach and hand covered in Tony’s come. He felt the tip of his ears turn pink as he thought about what he had just done, and it felt good. Steve felt so good, and the look on his face was probably a happy grin. Tony eventually seemed to recover,

“Holy shit we should do that again. All the time.” Tony said as he picked up his head to look up at Steve. Steve smiled and nodded.

“I agree. It was…” Steve said biting his lip thinking of the word,

“Great? Amazing? Fanfuckingtastic?” Tony said and Steve chuckled.

“Yes, but breathtaking was the word I was thinking.” Steve smiled at Tony. “You always seem to be finding new ways to take my breath away.” He finished and Tony looked taken aback, but smiled at Steve.

“Good.” Was all Tony replied with, but gave Steve a smile that let him know it meant a lot to Tony.

Steve eventually gave into his earlier curiosity and brought his hand up to his mouth and licked a bit of Tony’s come off his thumb, before finding out it didn’t taste exactly like he thought it would. It wasn’t great, salty and bitter, but he felt the way Tony held his breath against him and he licked the rest of his come off of his hand. He did it slowly and after Tony groaned and dropped his head onto Steve’s chest he smirked. Tony wasn’t the only one who could tease.

“Oh holy mother of god, you are literally going to kill me.” Tony cried out followed by Steve’s laughter.

Yeah, Steve could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as usually, comments are much appreciated and I love and adore each and every one of you. <3
> 
> Also, find me on Tumblr under the same url and feel free to harass me about finishing this.

**Author's Note:**

> So if I do actually write the rest of this, there will be three chapters in total, but that's if I get off my lazy ass and write them. Okay.  
> Thanks for reading <3


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